The Voice on the Hotline

"Hey, this is Marvyn from the hotline, how can I help you?"

Whether it’s 7 pm or 4 am, each call to the Center’s 24-hour sexual assault crisis hotline begins about the same. The volunteers introduce themselves with their first name and begin to find out what they can do for the caller.

Marvyn Murdock of Stamford finished training to be a volunteer for the 's 24-hour hotline last spring when he was looking for a way to contribute.

When Maria Mallozzi returned to her hometown of Stamford in 2006, she knew she wanted to volunteer somewhere in the city.

“I found the Center on a website and knew that was the place,” Mallozzi told Patch. “It’s a wonderful place to volunteer.”

When Mallozzi gets a hotline call, she is ready with her binder of information from the Center and ready to find out the caller's unique needs.

“They called for a reason, sometimes it’s just information, I try to listen to them and see where the conversation goes,” Mallozzi said.

“We look for people with a lot of sensitivity, who are sympathetic and empathetic,” Lori Gunn, the Center’s Volunteer Coordinator, said. 

The Center will launch its — the 35-hour mandatory crisis counselor training takes place over the course of two evening sessions each week for eight weeks. Volunteers participate in series of role plays both as a group and one-on-one with a counselor to learn how to handle various types of hotline calls.

"You can never be fully prepared with book-knowledge without experience behind it," Murdock said. "You just have to be a good listener."

“When you first go in, it’s a little nerve wracking,” Mallozi said. “But by the time you finish the training, you’re prepared. The first call is still scary, but at the end when they thank you, you just think “I’m supposed to be helping you and you’re thanking me!” It’s so rewarding to be there for someone.”

Volunteers sign up for four six-hour shifts each month, where they can receive hotline calls and need to be prepared for a hospital or police call — taking them to the police station or to Stamford, Norwalk, or Greenwich hospitals to provide information and support to a victim.

“Maria has been a volunteer for a long time, she’s always taking more shifts than the minimum. Marvyn started more recently, but he’s the same way,” Gunn said. “He’s also one of our male counselors and its important to know we have both male and female volunteers.”

While the majority of the Center’s current volunteers are women, there are four men who are currently working the hotline, including Murdock who is a survivor himself.

"You take a step back," Murdock said. "You say, "I'm going to help this person the best I can" and it does make you more reflective."

“If you go through the training and you put your whole effort into it, by the end you know what to say — it feels like you’re helping a friend, that’s how I feel about the people. It’s like if a friend or family member were in this situation, what would you say to them? what would you want someone else to say to them?” Mallozi said. “I think anybody can do it, you just have that compassion.”

There's no question that taking a call or meeting a victim of sexual assault at the hospital or police station can be a lot to take on, but the Center finds ways to help its volunteers handle the stress.

“At one volunteer meeting we made little books to look at when we were feeling stressed, we tore out pictures from magazines. I’ll still look at mine,” Mallozzi said. “I go for a walk or a run, if something is particularly dreadful, I’ll watch a funny movie.”

Counselors from the Center are always on-call as back-up for volunteers and are appreciative of the volunteers that can take on shifts to lighten their after-hours responsibilities.

“Its important that people know that we’re here for counseling,” Gunn said. “It does happen and people need to talk about it, this issue can’t be hidden.”

A screening interview is the first step in becoming a volunteer, all interested candidates should call the Center at 203-348-9346 to set up an appointment.