THE NOISE: The Best Reason to Bike to Work

I just spent $507 on my SUV to get rid of The Noise.

You know The Noise. It takes many forms. It might come from the engine, the air conditioner or somewhere else. You know your vehicle shouldn’t be making The Noise and, unable to identify or eradicate The Noise on your own, you have to enlist the help of a mechanic.

As The Noise in my SUV was coming from the rear brakes, which I knew were about due for servicing, I made the mistake of assuming The Noise—which would only make itself known when apply the brakes at low speeds—would vanish after the brakes were serviced. Therefore, while I did tell the mechanic about The Noise I didn’t tell him how important it was for him to find and eliminate it. So about four hundred dollars later, I discovered, as I was slowing down later that same afternoon, that The Noise did not go away, and possibly got louder.

I then realized I did not have a very close relationship with my mechanic, who, admittedly, doesn’t see too much of me. When I was living in rural New Hampshire a decade ago, I had a more unreliable car than I had today, and at one time had to see him once a week for five weeks as my Jeep Wrangler (1995-2006) hit one problem after another.

But that car was also simpler than the one I have now. Not only could you actually see the engine when you opened the hood, you could apparently remove large pieces of the vehicle that were giving you any trouble: One memorable visit to pick up the Jeep Wrangler (1995-2006) from the New Hampshire garage found my mechanic holding a bent, rusty piece of metal about four feet long in a classic there’s-your-problem moment.

“It’s your swaybar,” he told me. “I just cut it off. I don’t think you need it.”

But whatever was making The Noise in my newer, airbag-equipped and more modern SUV probably wasn’t something that could be solved with an acetylene torch.

So I called the Connecticut mechanic who had just given my vehicle a clean bill of health and had to engage in the humiliating first-world experience of trying to imitate The Noise over the phone so that he would know what to listen for (to wit: it sounds like a cross between somebody sawing a piece of wood very slowly and a hyperventilating walrus). On the phone and in person, I described how important it was that The Noise to go away.

Predictably, the mechanic phoned an hour or so after I dropped the SUV off and indicated it was not making The Noise. Holding my patience with both hands, I said that I haven’t been imagining The Noise and suggested the vehicle may only be emitting it after the car was warmed up or something. I told him to drive it ‘as long as it takes’ for The Noise to appear—a moment that left me wincing and trying to remember the limit on my Visa card.

Hours later, I got my answer. It had something to do with brake rotors. The parts and labor cost for getting rid of The Noise was $507—and this was a trustworthy mechanic. I paid the bill and drove off. The Noise was gone.

However, The Noise will be back. My SUV is getting old. Your SUV or car may be too. You too may have to deal with The Noise soon. But there’s a way to buy some time and reduce the amount of time in your life spent dealing with The Noise.  

Like you, I drive my motor vehicle at times when I do not really have to. I’m less than four miles from work, less than two from the Stamford Transportation Center, and barely a mile from the nearest grocery store.

So just before spending $507 to eliminate The Noise I spent $20 on a bike at a yard sale. It was in just good enough shape that I could fix it without using spare parts. My goal this month—which is National Bike Month—is to pedal it exactly 112 miles on trips I could have used the SUV for (an experience I will document on DIYBIKING.COM).

In case you’re wondering: I estimate my SUV costs about $0.18 per mile to drive, so about 112 miles will enable me to say the bike had paid for itself—something my SUV - and your SUV - will never do.

If you have a bicycle and can ride it safely, I recommend that you ride it, if for no other reason that every day on a bike instead of in a car puts another 24 hour buffer between you and the next time you have to deal with The Noise. This is Bike to Work Week, and putting space between you and The Noise is another great reason to ride to work.

On the way cycling to work today, I heard something: it was a bird singing on a wire stretching across Bedford Street. It was a great noise.

Mike Norris is the founding editor of DIYBIKING.COM, a site dedicated to casual cycling, random builds, and bike travel. He lives and works in Stamford and owns one 3,300 lb. SUV and 11 and 2/3 bicycles, and urges Stamford residents wishing to get rid of old ones to contact him. He can be reached at connecticutmike@gmail.com