New in Town: Ten Little Things I Like About Living in Stamford (So Far)

None of these by itself would be a reason to move to Stamford. In fact, all of these together would not be a reason to move to Stamford. But they’re just little "perks" I’ve noticed since we arrived.

1. The signs placed around town seemingly at random that say "Fine for Littering: $219." You have to love the precision of that. It means that the town took great care to determine the exact amount that fits the crime. Perhaps studies were done, possibly at great expense, to get to that wonderfully odd figure. I’m thinking they couldn’t afford signs that were big enough to say "Fine for Littering: $219.37"

2. When you buy something online, or register on a website, you don’t have to scroll the pull-down window for "state." Since the Internet was invented, I’ve had to pull down that stupid window and scroll all the way down to "New York." Now when I pull down the window, Connecticut is right there, waiting to be clicked on. This saves me several nanoseconds per transaction.

3. The art around town. I especially love the giant golden head on Bedford Street, which looks like it’s screaming for someone to bring it a burger from Lucky’s. And it’s great that the electrical boxes (or utility boxes, or whatever the heck they are) all have paintings on them. It almost doesn’t matter whether or not they’re good paintings; in this case, it really is the thought that counts.

4. The exit signs on the Merritt. The little borders on those signs make them seem somehow rustic. They convey to motorists the message that "Not only is the next exit Den Road, but we are people who truly care about the appearance of things, so you may want to think twice about getting off the highway with that Big Mac stain on your shirt."

5. The little cemetery near the State Cinema on Hope Street. The first time we went to that theater, we parked next to this cemetery without really noticing. Then I did a double-take. It’s a collection of headstones behind a chainlink fence on a tiny plot of land about the size of a small backyard. There was no lock on the gate, so I walked in. The inscriptions were mostly faded to invisibility, but they were obviously very old. A small square of unprotected land like this in Manhattan would soon become a graveyard to all sorts of discarded trash, but this burial ground, while not pristinely manicured, was neat and unlittered, and speaks well of the respect the town and its citizens have afforded it.

6. No motorcycle helmets. I’m not sure what possible rationale there can be for requiring drivers to wear seatbelts but not requiring motorcyclists to wear helmets. I suspect it may also be perfectly okay for bikers to use their cell phones. I just know I like being able to see the faces of the riders, especially when it’s raining. They look so funny scrunched up like that.

7. The announcements at the Stamford train station. I have a picture in my head of a guy in a little booth somewhere imaging he’s at Yankee Stadium. "Now, coming to bat, number 378, the 9:37 Acela to Washington." You can hear the announcements blocks away. This is in sharp contrast to the announcements on the New York City subways, which sound like they’re being done by someone who is, at that moment, drowning.

8. The popcorn at Bowtie Cinemas. You can actually see it popping, unlike the popcorn at New York’s National Amusements theaters, where you see some teenager carrying around the stale popcorn in a plastic bag the size of a hot air balloon.

9. The Dairy Queen on Summer Street. There’s something about standing on line at this place on a summer evening, watching them dip those cones into the red and brown shell sauce. It feels like you’ve been transported to the midwest in the mid-fifties. Call me a dreamer, but if we can just add the threat of thermonuclear war, it would be my childhood all over again. Except for the midwest part.

10. The marquee at the Rich Forum. "Jerry Springer!" "Maury Povich!" I can’t wait to drive by with guests to show them where the magic happens.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I could only think of nine things.

For more on our adventures as first-time homeowners at age 57, and moving to Stamford, visit http://theupsizers.wordpress.com/