New in Town: Not-So-Great Expectations

People are always asking us, "Why Stamford?’

It would be easy to answer with statistics about property taxes and home prices, or to mention the proximity to New York City or the low crime rate. But, really, what more is there to say than the town’s slogan:

"Stamford. The City That Works."

Yes, that’s what we’re all about here in Stamford. We try not to set the bar too high. We don’t reach for the stars like Palmdale, CA ("Aerospace Capital of the World"); we simply aspire to mediocrity. We are not "A Community of Excellence" like Gilbert, AZ; we’re just happy if things get done at all.

Indeed, we don’t have delusions of grandeur, like Stanberry, MO ("All Roads Lead to Stanberry") and we don’t try to "own" a product, like Castroville, CA., Patterson, CA., Wenatchee, WA., Clermont, IA. and La Crosse, KS (respectively, the capitals of artichokes, apricots, apples, bricks and barbed wire).

And Stamford doesn’t try to be a small fish in a big pond, like Reno, NV, Frannie, WY, Round Top, TX and Adamsville, TN (all the "biggest little towns" of their states), or a big fish in a small pond, like Brenham, "The Baseball Capital of Texas" and Glendale, "The Antique Shopping Capital of Arizona."

We can’t lay claim to a soft drink (like Hastings, NE., "The Birthplace of Kool-aid") or a milestone in technology (like Wabash, IN., "The First Electrically Lighted City in the World.") or a celebrity (like Kingsland, AK, "The Birthplace of Johnny Cash") Unless you think, "Stamford. A City Highly Associated with Bobby Valentine" has a good ring to it.

Nope, we’re just Stamford., the city that works. Our clocks tell time. Our stores open. Our faucets dispense water. Our traffic lights turn red, then green. At least they do when the power’s on.

We’re dependable, not remarkable. We take care not to disappoint visitors with over-promises. We’re not "A Bit of Paradise" (Canyon Lake, CA.); "An Oasis of Recreation" (Santee, SC.); or even "A Notch Above" (Littleton, NH).

That’s right, we don’t even aspire to being a single notch higher. Really, just let us get our work done so we can go home and watch TV.

One more thing: Obviously, in writing this post, I consulted a website, http://www.usacitiesonline.com, which has the mottoes of just about every town in the U.S. And one of them really caught my eye. It seems that Berrien Springs, Michigan is "The Christmas Pickle Capital of the World." I had never heard of such a thing. What the heck is a Christmas pickle? A cucumber with bits of dried fruit in it? I hope that, in growing up mildly Jewish, I did not miss out on some incredible holiday delicacy. But I do know this: "The Christmas Pickle" would be an excellent name for a Hallmark Hall of Fame holiday special. They could film it right here in Stamford. It wouldn’t be that good, but we’d get it done.

For more on our adventures as first-time homeowners at age 57, and moving to Stamford, visit http://theupsizers.wordpress.com/