Community Corner

The 'New' Golden Anniversary

Connecticut couple Marty Brown and Linda Schumacher-Brown celebrate 50 years of marriage, including 16 together.

Since a 1995 wedding, Marty Brown and Linda Schumacher-Brown have learned each other's tastes and grown to form new hobbies together, as married couples traditionally will.

Brown likes golf, good wine and gardening while Schumacher-Brown enjoys theater, kickboxing and skiing. Together they take pleasure in family, reading, movies, country music, local shows and books on CD.

Yet since the wedding 16 years ago, Schumacher-Brown said she and her husband haven’t seen all of their friends and family together. So, next month, the pair is renting out a hall to put on a party and do just that—as they mark a nontraditional occasion.

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The invitation reads: “Join us as we celebrate 50 years of marriage: 24+10+16=50 (When you add it all up!)”

The figures refer to the 24 years that Brown had been married previously, 10 for Schumacher-Brown's first marriage and the pair's 16 years together.

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“People thought it was a great idea,” Brown said of the “golden anniversary” party as he sank into a sofa in the couple's Bethel, Conn. living room on a recent afternoon—walls, table space and a mantel bearing framed photos of relatives and friends.

“Universally people are saying, ‘Oh my god, who came up with this?’ ” Brown, a Stamford, Conn. native and lower Fairfield County representative with wine and liquor wholesalers Connecticut Distributors, added with a smile. “And I immediately say, ‘I did.’ ”

In fact, it was her idea.

Each divorced prior to connecting on a double date a la Marie and Jess in “When Harry Met Sally,” and Brown brought three daughters to the relationship, Schumacher-Brown two.

Last year, as the couple planned a party to bring their loved ones together, Schumacher-Brown did the math and realized they could combine their married years to make 50.

“So we waited until this year specifically,” said Schumacher-Brown, a Scarsdale, N.Y. native who works in sales with supplemental insurance provider Aflac. “We just decided that the numbers added up in 2011 and that it was a good idea and that we wanted to do it. We wanted to have a big to-do—a casual to-do, because we really feel that years just go by.”

What they’re doing is not only unique—it’s also healthy, according to professionals who work with families, including people in divorce.

“It’s healthy that they can look back on a previous marriage with enough healing to celebrate that aspect of their lives,” said Steve Grissom, president and founder of DivorceCare. The Wake Forest, N.C.-based company includes divorce support groups that help people in the middle of a separation or divorce crisis. Some 750,000 people have used DivorceCare’s services, Grissom said.

Bryan Fischer, director of issue analysis for the American Family Association—a Tupelo, Miss.-based, Christian nonprofit organization whose priorities include preserving marriage and families—said, “We congratulate this couple on 16 years together and we are happy to see people celebrating the joys and delights of married life."

Grissom also noted that the Connecticut couple has bucked national trends by entering into a second marriage that’s working.

The divorce rate in the United States is 50 percent for first marriages, 67 percent for second and 74 percent for third marriages, according to a study from Jennifer Baker of the School of Professional Psychology at Forest Institute in Springfield, Mo.

“Remarriage is risky,” Grissom said. “From that standpoint, they apparently have married wisely and it’s worked, so that’s a great thing.”

It’s a great thing for children, too, when their parents can celebrate marriage, Grissom said.

“This is a very gracious way to envelope the children from both sets of marriages,” he said. “That’s always a stress point, a big life event for children and stepchildren, and here it sounds like what’s been created is a very warm and friendly environment.”

Back in their living room, the couple is preparing for one daughter’s return home—a recent college graduate—while a 7-month-old puppy that belongs to another daughter patters in his crate by the front door.

For the Connecticut couple, any heavy psychological analysis belies what’s really designed as a fun event. According to Brown and Schumacher-Brown, who have four grandchildren, the party itself is just that for the kids: a party.

“They’re not looking at it like it’s an emotional connection,” Schumacher-Brown said. “We wanted to just be light. We’re not doing speeches or presents. It’s very casual. We just want people to come home.”

They’ve invited 100 guests to the party.

“We don’t entertain as much as we would like to, and we have so many people that mean so many things to us and are such good friends and have invited us to many things,” she added. “We just wanted to thank them for making our life a better place.”


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