Obama, Romney Officially Enter Stamford Mayoral Race

In a surprising move, both current United States President Barack Obama and former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced their intention to run for the position of Mayor for the City of Stamford, according to absolutely zero sources close to either fictitious Connecticut campaign.

The current president, citing fatigue with a political process where it's near impossible to accomplish anything with all the feet-dragging and finger-pointing of Washington, decided running for the position of Mayor in a city as beautiful as Stamford and getting out of the vitriolic politics of a national stage was the best decision he's never made, he said in an interview that never actually happened.

“Now, listen,” Obama said in that way where you can totally hear him saying it in his voice, “I, uh, I never actually said any of that. I'm not even saying any of these things now. You're just making things up because it's April Fools Day. It's quite silly.”

Sources outside his campaign confirmed Obama was correct. He never actually had said any of that, and it was quite silly. In a conversation that never happened, Romney said this was his chance for redemption.

Never actually stating that, with an exiting Republican mayor he thought his chances might be pretty high at a win, Romney doesn't actually have hope that the possibility of a win in Stamford is just what the campaign needs to get back in the game after a tight loss in the previous election.

“Who are you and why are you making up crazy things,” Romney didn't ask at all during a phone call that never took place. “Please stop bothering me and my family. I've given up a life of politics to spend more time with them and the things you are suggesting are quite ludicrous. None of this is anywhere near the realm of feasibly happening.”

When Rush Limbaugh found out about the huge story, it's possible he jumped at the chance to enter the limelight of Stamford's political stage a second time, after recently involving himself in another Stamford mayoral candidate campaign in late March.

“It's April now. I need to re-up. Stamford's one of the few places still paying attention to me,” Limbaugh never said. “Do you need me to call someone else a 'clown?' I could call DJ McAneny an 'infobabe?' I'm still relevant.”

Even though there was no way Limbaugh could be right, since he never said any of that, it's nice to know when the words are put into his mouth at least one thing can be agreed upon. DJ McAneny is a total infobabe.

Be sure to enjoy the rest of April Fools' Day, Stamford.